Doing some more writitng

Crossing the bridge

On Saturday the 16th of March 1852, there was a farmer and her brown and white cow. The farmer’s name was called Peaches.

First the farmer Peaches got her cow and Struggled to move her heavy cow.  “ come on Bessie.” She said as she was struggling to pull Bessie. Peaches grabbed her coins and she went to William Johnson the toll keeper. She gave William Johnson 1 coin for her and 1 for her cow.

“Evening Johnson” she said as she was waiting to cross the bridge.

William Johnson took the money and said “Thank you very much,enjoy your day.” William Johnson used his strength to turn the winch so that the farmer could go through the bridge and go to the market. The farmer and the cow got to the market and the farmer got the bucket and milked the cow to sell the milk to the villagers.

The farmer looked and looked to see if anyone was coming to get some milk. But then she saw one person in line to see if it tasted nice. So she gave the nice lady some milk and she said “ WOOPHE!!!, That's the best milk i've ever tasted.” So she bought some milk and took it to her kids and they shared the milk together. After she left she told everyone about the milk and there was a whole line of people waiting to get some milk. Then he got to the last person and there was no one else in the line. So she packed up all her stuff and took her cow home.

Then they got home and they jumped straight on to their beds and went to sleep.

Recount checklist ✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓
Surface features	Searched	Found	Fixed
Capital letters at the beginning of a sentence	✓	✓	✓
Capital ‘I’	✓	Did not found it
Capital letters for names of places and people	✓	✓	✓
Full stops at the end of a sentence	✓	✓
Speech marks when people are talking	✓	✓
Punctuation - ? ! ; : ‘	✓	✓
Words are written in past tense	✓	X	X
Connectives - next, then, afterwards	✓	✓
Interesting and difficult adjectives	✓	✓	Only winch. Need more.
Deep features
Introduction has who, what, when, where, why, and how	✓	✓	Where, why, how
Conclusion has a reflective statement or says how you felt	✓	Not there
Ideas/events in the right order	✓	✓
3 paragraphs	✓	✓
Metaphors and similes	✓	✓
Different types of sentences - short, long, compound and complex	✓	✓